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TEACHERS' DESK | Stop! No Bullies Allowed In Here!
by Nellie
Bogar
Cyberbullying has really come to
my attention in the last two years. Our program
serves a very diverse group of children from
all walks of life; it is an ongoing effort to
ensure that each child learns to respect
him/herself and to respect the various cultures
and differences of other children in the
program.
Last year, an
11-year-old boy suddenly stopped coming to our
program without explaining why to me or to his
parents. Several weeks later, some of the
other children were quietly (they thought)
talking about the boy and said that he had
dropped out because another student had started
spreading rumors about his sexuality and was
forwarding the information via the Internet to
other students.
By the time I
learned about the situation, the bully had
moved to another state and could not be
confronted. I called the victim and his mother
to discuss the situation and he decided to come
back to the program. If I had known sooner, we
could have intervened sooner. The message we
promote is: always tell a trusted adult as soon
as possible when someone is bullying
you.
Hiding
Behind the Screen
Cyberbullies never have to face the person
they’re bullying because it is done
anonymously, furtively hidden by a computer
screen. We already know that bullies love
an audience—a cyberbully gets his or her
audience by copying and forwarding his bullying
messages to other people.
This
method can be much more hurtful than having a
bully torment the victim in person because the
victim can’t face his tormentor. I
emphasize with the kids that bullying is
bullying anytime that someone intentionally
hurts, humiliates or threatens another
person. It doesn’t matter if it’s
face-to-face, wireless phone or the
Internet.
Our Approach to Reducing
Bullying
Our program has several
safeguards in place to prevent and respond to
cyberbullying and other issues that our
students face. We work to keep communication
open through weekly “Family Circle”
discussions, a private letterbox, and strong
relationships with the students.
A “Family Circle” to
Foster Trust and Communication
Youth
Village has organized a “Family Circle” where
we sit on the floor in a circle and discusses
various issues, such as tolerance, bullying,
dating, dress codes and other matters that are
affecting us and our community.
This
Circle is somewhat like a round-table
discussion that many organizations provide for
meetings. It encourages a feeling of
connection to others, making the kids more apt
to open up and discuss issues that they may
have previously thought were unique to
them. As they begin to share their
individual problems the children see that they
have quite a bit in common with each
another. Lines of communication open and
they realize that we all basically have the
same fears and expectations.
This
line of communication leads to more open
discussions on all subjects—including cultural
diversity, academic issues, physical appearance
anxieties, and cyberbullying.
A Private
Letterbox
Some children might not
want to speak out in a public setting.
We’ve installed a locked “in-house mailbox” at
Youth Village. Children who want to speak
privately just write down their concerns and
drop it in the mailbox. I, or one of the
staff members, check the box daily to see if
anyone has any particular concerns we need to
address.
As with any problem,
open communication is the key. We must
all—children and adults—learn to tell someone
when we are being threatened, harassed or
bullied.
Stop, No Bullies
Allowed In Here! In 2006, Youth
Village produced a video about bullying. The
focus was on all types of bullying, and the
students learned a lot while making the video,
which we shared with local schools. You can
watch it online at
www.nelliesyouthvillage.org.
Nellie's Tips to Address and Prevent Cyberbullying
Tips for Youth
Speak up. It’s hard and can be embarrassing, but you must tell an adult you trust. Sometimes early intervention can stop a problem from escalating. And we can all learn from each other.
Be careful when e-mailing information to another person. Information can be copied and forwarded by e-mails to any and everyone.
Be careful when someone asks to take your picture. Pictures can also be taken on cell phones without your knowledge, so try not to put yourself in compromising positions in public.
Tips for Teachers: Watch for the Signs
Teachers should watch out for young people who:
- Close their screens when the teacher comes near them
- Sit in groups while on the Internet
- Show a lack of interest in class participation
- Act aggressively
- Hand in missing or incomplete class work or homework
Tips for Parents
Parents should talk to their children and tell them it is not their fault if they're bullied. They should not act as if its not important or tell their children "don't worry about it, it will go away." Cyberbullying is serious and could become dangerous.
Several weeks ago, a child on his way to Youth Village was bullied by another boy. I called the school and reported him, and called his mother at work. The aggressor was a former student at Youth Village who was expelled from our program for aggressive behavior. The school promised to watch out for any further incidents.
Nellie Bogar is the Executive
Director of
Youth
Village, Inc., an after school and summer
program in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. It was
created in 1999 to give children ages 6 to 15 a
safe place for educational and recreational
activities during out-of-school hours.
