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YOUTH VOICES | The Lowdown on Cyberbullying and What if You Have a Friend Who’s a Bully?

The Lowdown on Cyberbullying

by De’Ja (female, age 12)

Have you ever been on the computer and an unknown person emails or Instant messages you? You click out but they keep typing to you. You finally decide to type back, and the person threatens you or calls you names like “stupid” or says “Ha Ha, I got you!”? This is called cyberbullying and it happened to me!  

I was curious and wanted to find out who this person was that was trying to email me, so when I typed back they pretended to be someone I knew, but after a few minutes, I realized that I didn’t know who this person was, but it was too late. I had opened the door to trouble!  I think it was someone from my school, but I never found out for sure.  

Meanwhile, I was really terrified at the things this person was sending to me.

Don’t think cyber bullying can’t happen to you, it could happen to anyone. People on the Internet can bully you in any kind of way. They can tease you, threaten you, or they’ll just put you down and make you sad.

Bullying doesn’t just happen on the computer. It can happen on your cell phone too. If a person sends you a text message, and they threaten you over the phone, that would also be considered cyberbullying.  

Why do people cyberbully? Often, they don’t like themselves, they have problems at home, or they like the attention they get from bullying kids. Bullying is downright wrong, and we shouldn’t degrade each other like this.

Preventing Cyberbullying: My Advice to Other Teens
There are many ways to prevent cyber bullying, and I’m going to tell you right here and right now.

First, what not to do: Some kids just turn the computer off and don’t tell their parents. That is WRONG! If you are a teen and you are reading this, don’t be afraid to tell someone. You should always tell your parent or your guardian or a well-known family friend. Never keep a secret from an adult, especially if you are getting cyber bullied.

Here’s what you can do: Again, if someone tries to chat online with you and they threaten you, you should tell an adult immediately. Depending on what the person typed to you, they could be breaking the law.

Also:  

• Do not give out personal information to anybody over the Internet even if you know who the person is.  Information given can be passed on to other people.  When you are on the Internet it is important not to tell the person your name, address, and phone number. Don’t put your birth date in your screen name.

• Don’t give out your cell phone number.  Guard it as you would a secret from your best friend.  Some people I know don’t give anyone except their very best friends their cell numbers.  Parents can give their children cell phones without even telling their child what their phone number is.  The parents only want the child to have a cell phone in case the child himself has to make an emergency call. 
  

So please, remember what I’ve said….experience is sometimes the best teacher!

What If Your Friend is a Bully?

By Didrienne, 10 (with Nellie Bogar, Executive Director of Youth Village)

Nellie: Didrienne knows a bully personally, who is also a student at Youth Village. She and her friend “A,” had become very good friends over the years until Didrienne noticed that her friend was becoming increasingly hurtful when talking to and about other people. She decided to sit down and have a talk with her.

Didrienne told “A” that she was becoming more insensitive to other people and their problems and kind of a bully.  

Didrienne: I told her that it’s not cool to laugh at or join the teasing or gossip.   At first, “A” denied being a bully or picking on other people, but I didn’t give up.  After a while, “A” began to open up and told me that she was being bullied.

Nellie: “A” is biracial and has a striking and unique appearance. Her light, olive-colored skin and giant bushel of blond hair gives her a very pretty, exotic look—but many children, she said, black and white, tease her constantly about her appearance.  “A” confided in Didrienne that she feels that if she attacks someone first, than maybe she can make people laugh at someone other than her.

This is one of many very vital reasons for the need for diversity training in our homes, schools and community.

“A” has learned over the past several weeks that if she’s being bullied or talked about, to tell the person to stop, and then calmly and confidently walk away.  She now knows that if the bully sees that she’s no longer upset, she’ll probably leave her alone.  Bullies love to know that they’ve had an adverse affect on their victim.

Didrienne:   “A” finally admitted that she herself was a bully who was teasing and bullying someone. She didn’t like the way it made her feel and she almost lost one of her best friends.

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De’Ja and Didrienne are students in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. They attend the Youth Village after-school program.

Warning Signs to Watch For - Cyberbullying